Not the Marrying Kind: An Alternative Romance
by Darkfaery64
Summary: When the true nature of Merry and Pippin's relationship is discovered, they are forced to find Hobbit wives. The engagements don't go as smoothly as planned when Merry and Pippin find it impossible to stay away from each other. COMPLETE!
1. Condemned

**"Not the Marrying Kind: An Alternative Romance"**

**by**** Christina**

**A/N: This is a sequel of sorts to "The Hobbit of My Affections," but it's not necessary to have read it in order to enjoy this story. Suffice it to say that Merry and Pippin are lovers and have been since shortly after Sam and Rosie Gamgee's wedding (1420 S.R.). **

**"Not the Marrying Kind" is rated R for language and relationships between Hobbits of the same sex (male _and _female this time around), so if that sort of thing offends you, don't read it. It also contains some het content, which might offend others (it's really hard to make everyone happy in LOTR fandom, but I try:)). **

**Disclaimer: All these wonderful characters and their universe belong to J.R.R. Tolkien. I'm just having fun in the Professor's extraordinary playground.**

****

**Chapter One: Condemned**

March 23, 1427 S. R. (The night before the Master of Buckland's eighty-seventh birthday)...

Saradoc Brandybuck had heard the rumors, of course; everyone in the Shire seemed to accept the ridiculous story that his son and nephew enjoyed regular visits from Elf-maids and other strange nymphs and sprites. That was the reason why Meriadoc and Peregrin stayed at Crickhollow rather than settle down like the responsible gentlehobbits they were raised to be.

Saradoc had made his own investigation into the matter and knew better. The truth made him want to retch.

Meriadoc finally opened the hidden door off the great hall and entered the antechamber where his father sat in an elaborately carved wooden chair raised on a small dais. There was no other chair in the small room and the Master liked it that way. The walls were covered in ancient tapestries that served a dual purpose; they told of the illustrious founding of Brandy Hall by Gorhendad Oldbuck and sound-proofed the room as well, making it ideal for private chats with recalcitrant sons.

"You made me seem a poor host tonight, Meriadoc."

Merry looked up at him proudly, with the hint of a cocky grin on his face. "How did I do that, Father?"

"You hardly danced at my Birthday Ball. Since I cannot," Saradoc tapped his arthritic right leg with his cane, "I expect you to make a good showing for us both."

"I danced."

"With your mother, married Aunts, and little cousins. Not once did you dance with an eligible Hobbit lass. And there she was, beautiful Estella Bolger following you with her eyes all night long and you didn't so much as glance in her direction."

Merry didn't respond immediately and looked down at his feet. "I'm sorry, Father. I'll make up for it right now." He turned to leave, but Saradoc stopped him.

"Do you think I'm some doddering old fool who wouldn't notice the way you look at him?" The old Hobbit asked with sudden fury.

Merry spun around and regarded his father with terror in his grey eyes.

Saradoc grasped the sturdy arms of his chair and rose himself up. "How could you disgrace me and the very name of Brandybuck by fornicating with that filthy little Took?!"

"He's your nephew!" Merry exclaimed.

"Which makes what you're doing all the more disgusting!" Saradoc spat on the rushes spread over the floor. "He brought you to this, didn't he? Peregrin always had you wrapped around his little finger."

"I brought myself to it," Merry replied. "I love him."

Saradoc smiled mirthlessly and sat back down. "Well, your love affair is now over."

Merry shook his head. "You can't stop us from being together."

"You forget, Meriadoc the Magnificent," Saradoc said mockingly, "you're not Master of Buckland yet. Oh, yes, I've heard what they call you when they think I'm not listening. You may have their hearts, but I still have the power. I could disinherit you and spread your secret throughout the Shire by morning. Then we'll see if you still have their hearts after that."

"_You_ forget, father," Merry said, challenging the old Master with his steady, brash gaze. "We have friends in the South who will not see us outcast."

"Yes, of course," Saradoc chuckled. "I imagine your Kings will take you in, but what of the good Men of Rohan and Gondor? What will they do when your secret is discovered? And I will do everything in my power to make certain that it is. One day when the attentions of you Kings are elsewhere, those good Men will slit your throats in the night, if you're lucky. Or perhaps they'll use you like the little he-whores you are before they kill you."

Merry clenched and unclenched his fists at his sides. "Are you finished?"

"Not by half." Saradoc used his cane to get out of his chair and off the dais. Merry made no move to assist him. Saradoc put a hand on Merry's shoulder, forcing his son to help him to the door. "Tomorrow, you will propose to Estella Bolger instead of me making a speech. The guests will surely enjoy that. And the wedding will take place before midsummer. Peregrin will also marry by that time, but you had better make certain he doesn't show his pretty face in Buckland tomorrow. It would hardly be good form if I vomited up my birthday cake."

Merry shrugged off his father's arm. "You can make all the demands you like, but we will not forsake each other."

"Run along, Meriadoc," Saradoc said as if he was talking to a small child. "Discuss your options with my dear nephew, and give me your decision in the morning. I hope for both your sakes that you decide to be wise rather than rash."

Pippin had left the Ball after Merry had been summoned by his father, so Merry quickly traveled the league from Brandy Hall to Crickhollow in order to 'discuss their options'. Merry and Pippin had been given the cottage by Frodo before he departed over the Sea seven years ago.

Merry found Pippin waiting for him, smoking his pipe on the porch. Pippin took the pipe from his lips and regarded his cousin and lover with concern.

"What did Uncle Saradoc want?"

Merry could feel himself shaking with rage mixed with fear. "He knows, Pippin--about us."

Pippin removed Merry's cloak and led him inside. "What did he say?"

"We have to marry."

"Each other?" Pippin joked hopefully.

"It's not funny, Pippin!" Merry yelled. "He's going to have us driven out unless we both get married!"

Pippin settled Merry at the kitchen table and poured him a glass of wine. Pippin stroked his hair and kissed him on the top of his curly head. "Don't worry, Merry. We'll just leave the Shire, simple as that. Strider will take us in. I know he won't judge us, nor will Queen Arwen. Elves don't seem to be bothered by such things, and Strider was practically raised by Elves."

"We won't be able to live openly anywhere," Merry reminded him mournfully.

Pippin put his arms around Merry and hugged him. "We'll just be more careful and the King will protect us."

"But he won't be with us every minute, Pippin. What if the Men of Gondor find out?"

Pippin swallowed hard and remained silent.

"Remember that villain Deken?" Merry asked darkly. "He would have raped you and killed me if he could have."

"If we hadn't killed him first, Merry," Pippin said with a brave smile. "We aren't totally defenseless, you know."

Merry rose and stared out the window into the cool, dark night. It was several minutes before he spoke. "I won't see you hurt or killed, Pippin. I plan to ask Estella to marry me tomorrow at the party as my father bid me."

"I'd rather take my chances in the outside world with you than see you marry," Pippin replied angrily.

Merry took Pippin's face in his hands and felt tears stinging his eyes. "I would rather see you happy and well in our beloved Shire, receiving everything that is your due. It's time to grow up, dearest."

Pippin's eyes filled with tears as well. "Anything but that, Merry."

Merry smiled and kissed him on the nose. "You knew it was bound to happen eventually."

Pippin sighed in defeat. "I suppose I could ask Diamond of Long Cleeve to marry me. It would make my parents happy; besides, I couldn't imagine marrying someone I actually liked." Pippin cringed when he realized what he had just said and swore under his breath. "I'm sorry, Merry. I didn't mean it the way it sounded. Estella will finally be Mistress of Buckland, that's what she's always wanted. That's why she refused to marry anyone else even though you begged her to."

"She's never married because she's still in love with me," Merry said with a pained expression. "It seems a cruel thing to do to a first-rate lass like her, but it would be worse if I married someone else." Merry paused and regarded Pippin seriously. "We'll have to stop...bedding each other."

"This arrangement is getting worse by the second!" said Pippin. "Why do we have to stop? We may not be able to do it as often, but--"

"No, Pippin! If I have to do this I'm going to be as true to Estella as I can be. You'll still have my heart, but we've managed to make love at least once a day for the past eight years. That should be enough for any Hobbit."

"Speak for yourself, Merry! It was my turn to be on top tonight."

Merry let a little cry at the thought of it and buried his hands in Pippin's curls. "By the gods, I love it when you're on top!"

Pippin wrapped his arms around Merry's waist and pulled him close. Merry opened his mouth slightly and leaned in for a slow kiss. Pippin beat him to it and practically devoured Merry's mouth. Then Pippin clumsily cleared the kitchen table, breaking Merry's wine glass in the process, and helped Merry to sit on the edge of it. Merry wrapped his legs around Pippin's waist as Pippin lowered him onto his back, all the while their lips remained plastered together. Pippin stood up and gave Merry one of his dark, intense gazes that always sent shivers down his spine. Pippin started grinding and thrusting his pelvis against Merry's until Merry could feel them both growing hard against the fabric of their breeches.

Unbidden, a vision of a forlorn Estella watching him dance with his ancient Aunt Euphemia entered Merry's mind's eye. He abruptly unwrapped himself from Pippin and stood up. "What is the matter with us? We can stop if we try." Pippin gazed at Merry with a seductive pout, but Merry remained strong. "There's always self-gratification, Pippin."

"That's no fun," he whined. "Unless you're watching me do it."

Merry walked around the table to put some distance between the two of them. "I forgot to mention, you've been uninvited to the party tomorrow. Why don't you ride to North Farthing and get your proposal over with? By the time you get Diamond settled at the Great Smials and come back here, we should be well over our...urges."

Pippin grunted dubiously and seemed more than a little frustrated already. "If you need me, I'll be gratifying myself in the guest bedroom." He turned with a sigh and plodded into the hall.

"Pippin?"

Pippin turned and glowered at his cousin. "What is it, Merry?"

"Since we're not officially engaged yet, I imagine it would be all right if we--if you spent the night with me, just one more time."

Pippin had Merry fully undressed in the hall before they both stumbled into their bedroom. They took full advantage of their last night together and woke up exhausted the next morning.

Merry reluctantly saw Pippin off to North Farthing, then walked to Brandy Hall. When Merry faced Saradoc again, he uttered the last three words he would ever directly address to the old Master until his death, five years hence: "You win, Father."

The old Hobbit had a triumphant smirk on his face as he handed his son his grandmother's pearl ring. "I'm so glad you decided to be wise, Meriadoc."

The Bucklanders had feared it would rain on the Master's birthday party and they would all be forced into the crowded great hall, but the day had turned out to be fine and dry. Hundreds of Hobbits gathered in the field next to Brandy Hall expecting the most excellent food and drink, the best presents, and unfortunately, the longest speeches of all the great parties in the Shire.

Before the festivities began, Estella Bolger made her way through the tangle of benches and pavilions to greet her very pregnant friend who had just waved at her across the field. Estella embraced Rosie Gamgee warmly, but could hardly get her arms around her. "Rosie, you look as if you're about to burst!"

"Oh, I wish I would," Rosie replied with fatigue in her voice. "He's kicking up a storm today." Estella guided Rosie to a cushioned chair and pulled another one close so she could put her feet up.

"'He'?" said Estella. "I suppose you are carrying low. Have you picked out a name for him yet?"

Rosie looked down at her swelled feet and bit her lip. "Well, we were just thinking about calling him Merry. Sorry."

Estella waved away her concern and smiled. "You don't have to apologize. He's your friend; one of the Travellers, it's only natural."

"I would love it if you would come to stay at Bag End for a week or two," Rosie said, apparently eager to change the subject. "Sam's so busy with his new job and it would be nice to have another adult to talk to."

"I'd be happy to come, Mistress Mayor--"

Rosie flushed proudly at the mention of Sam's new position as Mayor of Michel Delving.

Estella held up a warning finger. "As long as there's no matchmaking."

Rosie pouted very much like Estella had seen little Elanor Gamgee do on occasion. "Oh, just one little match?"

"No!"

Rosie took her friend's hand and squeezed it. "Stella, you've got to stop waiting for him."

"I'm not waiting for him," she said lightly, unsure if it was a lie or not. "I gave up on him a long time ago. I just like being a bitter old maid."

When Sam returned to Rosie's side with little Elanor, Frodo, and Rose in tow, Stella left Rosie and took a seat on the bench beside her brother. Fred (she refused to call him 'Fatty' as everyone else did) was busy making a wager with Folco Boffin that the Master's speech would last fifteen minutes longer than last year's record of two hours and fifty-two minutes.

They offered Estella a piece of the action, but she declined. She sipped her wine and looked up just as Merry passed by their table. She felt the familiar pang she always did when she looked at him, but this time he turned and smiled at her. Estella felt her heart beating in her throat and was afraid she might choke. She thought she heard him ask, "Are you enjoying yourself?" but it was impossible to hear over the din of the party.

Estella nodded and raised her glass. Merry smiled again and mouthed 'good', then his presence seemed to be required elsewhere. When he was out of sight, she drained her glass and reached for more wine.

_Why do I do this to myself, year after year_? she asked. _And for what?__ Ten seconds of his grand attention. Rosie's right, I've got to get over him. _Estella vowed to herself then and there that as soon as this excruciating day was over she'd accompany the Gamgees to Bag End and let Rosie match her up with whomever she liked. Anything to get her mind off Merry.

Eight long years ago, on the day of Sam and Rosie's wedding, Merry as good as proposed to her. Six months after that, Estella received a visit in Budgeford from her almost-betrothed. Merry apologized profusely for leading her on and giving her false hope. He told her what a wonderful lass she was and he was certain some other Hobbit lad would make her a fine husband someday.

Estella had been coldly polite that day, hiding the immeasurable wound Merry had 'unwittingly' inflicted upon her. She tried to hate him, but she couldn't; nor could she reclaim her affections. Ever since that day her heart had been in a kind of limbo. But now it was time to move on. She raised her glass again in a silent toast to herself as Old Saradoc Brandybuck hobbled to the platform to make his yearly birthday speech. She clapped and hoped, as they all did (except Fred), that it would be a short one this year.

The Master waved his hand for silence. "You'll be happy to know that you'll all be spared a windy speech this year--" A deafening cheer rose from the crowd followed by good-natured laughter. "I yield the floor to my only son and heir who has an important announcement to make."

Estella let out a groan as Merry started talking about responsibility and doing one's family duty. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him take a small box out of his pocket, wrapped in a red ribbon. Estella looked away; she picked up her wine glass and drained it, her confidence of a moment ago already waning. Merry's words meant nothing to her anymore, so she could easily drown them out from years of practice. But the cadence of his voice was like a bittersweet melody that still had the power to affect her heart.

"Stell," her brother said urgently as he pulled her up off the bench.

"What is it Fred?" She looked up and saw Merry standing there in front of her. He was holding out the small box that had an antique pearl ring in it.

"Say 'yes' Stell," Fred prompted.

Estella looked around and found everyone staring at her. She regarded Merry and her brother with confusion. "What was the question?"

Merry had to repeat his proposal twice before Estella finally understood what he was asking and accepted. They were now sitting under the great pavilion at the Master's table to celebrate.

"Are you certain this isn't some sort of cruel joke?" Estella asked with a nervous giggle.

"Of course not," Merry replied, catching a dirty look from Rosie over Estella's shoulder.

"It had better not be," Fatty said jovially, but Merry heard the slightest hint of a threat in his voice. "I've been trying to get her off the shelf for years."

Estella smiled at her brother's joke but seemed embarrassed. Merry took her hand and looked deeply into her large brown eyes. "I don't blame you for not trusting me completely, but I swear to you this marriage will happen. As soon as Pippin returns from North Farthing, we'll set a date."

Merry suddenly felt a strong hand on his shoulder. It was Sam. "May I have a word with you, Merry?"

Merry almost flinched at the seething anger in Sam's eyes. "Can't it wait, Sam?"

Sam tightened his grip on Merry's shoulder until he was sure it would hurt. "I'm afraid not. Pressing Shire business, you know."

Merry excused himself and let Sam lead him to a lonely corner of Brandy Hall, well out of earshot of the party guests

"What in the devil is going on here, Merry?" Sam demanded. "Are you and Pippin not...? Have the two of you called it quits?"

Merry shifted from foot to foot. "Well, sort of."

"Sort of? What does that mean?" Sam continued to glare at Merry with his arms folded across his chest.

"We've stopped bedding each other."

"How long has it been?"

Merry flashed a sheepish smile. "Almost a day now."

Sam shook his head in disgust.

"Well, that's good for us!" Merry replied defensively.

"I suppose it helps that Pippin isn't here," said Sam. "I still don't understand why you decided to get engaged all of a sudden?"

"It's expected, Sam. Pippin's halfway to Long Cleeve by now to collect his future bride."

Sam's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "I don't know what the two of you are up to, but this is wrong."

Merry put a friendly hand on Sam's shoulder, but he shrugged it off. "You don't understand, it's different for us--"

"Because you're a Brandybuck and I'm only a lowly Gamgee?"

Merry shook his head. "What I mean to say is that Brandybucks and Tooks often marry for reasons other than love."

"That lass loves you," Sam said, raising his voice. "I can see it in her eyes! Does she know your heart belongs to Pippin?"

Backed against the wall, Merry went for the jugular: "I know you were in love with Frodo for years and still you married Rosie. Why is this any different?"

Sam face turned red with rage. "_Nothing_ ever happened between Frodo and me!"

"That's your own fault, Sam," Merry said with a callous edge to his voice. "And now Frodo is gone."

Merry knew Sam was making an extraordinary effort not to hit him, even though Merry deserved it. "I love Rosie and I made a choice to be true to her. I know you and Pippin never learned this lesson, but now I think it's high time you both did: You can't always have everything you want just because you want it!"

It was the first sunny day of the year in Long Cleeve, even though Winter's chill had not entirely left North Farthing to the Spring. Chill or no, Diamond of Long Cleeve decided to take full advantage of the flattering sunlight. She had been sitting in the garden with her grandmother for only a quarter of an hour before half a dozen lovesick Hobbit lads flocked to her family's smial. For Diamond was far and away the prettiest Hobbit lass in North Farthing, a fact grudgingly admitted by plainer lasses who hated her from the top of her silken red curls to the bottom of her dainty furry feet.

No matter what the temperature, Diamond always used her hand fan to great advantage. There wasn't a Hobbit lad in the Shire who could resist her hazel eyes peeking out from the top of her hand-painted fan her father had brought her all the way from Bree.

Roby Handyfoot, a dull, but handsome young Hobbit, was leaning in to whisper a sweet nothing in Diamond's ear, when Diamond caught the unmistakable whiff of fabulous wealth coming down the road--and if her sensitive nose was right, there was also a pretty jewel in the mysterious Hobbit's pocket.

Sure enough, five minutes later Diamond's uncanny olfactory talents were proved right. Her distant cousin, Peregrin Took, rode up on a fine pony looking dashing in the King's livery--well, as dashing as it was possible for a ridiculously large Hobbit to look.

He was here to propose, Diamond could feel it in her pretty bones! She had been primed and prepped for this moment all her life when the future Thain would ask her to marry him. So naturally, Diamond ignored him.

She turned away from the rider and continued to chat nonsensically with her swarm of beaus until even they had turned their attention to the tall, liveried Hobbit tapping his foot impatiently on the grass.

Diamond finally looked up and gave Pippin her most dazzling smile. "Oh, dear cousin Peregrin, I didn't see you standing there! What a pleasant and entirely unexpected surprise!"

Inexplicably, Pippin seemed unmoved by her ethereal beauty and continued to look down on her grimly. Perhaps he was just tired. Poor dear. Poor, _rich_ dear! She giggled.

"Diamond, may I speak to you alone?"

She fanned herself and batted her eyes coquettishly. "Surely, Cousin, anything you have to say can be said in front of my friends."

Pippin rolled his eyes. "I'll be inside whenever you're ready. I suppose I should speak to your father first anyway." Pippin trudged to the round front door and was instantly admitted by Diamond's fawning mother.

As soon as the door was closed, Diamond's smile faded and she turned on her suitors with a voice that would frighten a harpy: "What are you staring at, you silly fools?" She hit the nearest two with her fan. "_Go home_!" As they scattered like a pack of scared mice, Diamond smoothed out her dress and prepared to meet her destiny.

"You're not leaving me out here, are you?"

Diamond sighed in irritation and helped her grandmother inside, convinced that her perfect entrance was now ruined.

To be continued....


	2. Hell Hath No Fury

**Chapter Two: Hell Hath No Fury**

When Pippin finally returned to Crickhollow from Tuckborough, he shrugged off his cloak and sat wearily next to Merry at the kitchen table, leaving a trail of dust in his wake. "How long has it been? A year?"

Merry smiled sympathetically. "A week." There was nothing Merry would rather do than relieve Pippin's fatigue with a quick romp, but he was determined to remain strong. "How's Diamond?"

Pippin shook his head. "I had forgotten just annoying she is. When I left, she was flirting with every Hobbit at the Great Smials, including my father. They were falling all over themselves to wait on her hand and foot, while my mother and sisters looked as if they'd like to shave her head for good measure. If Diamond wasn't looking at herself in her little hand mirror, she was hitting me with that damned fan of hers, demanding I tell her how gorgeous she is. When she was pleased with me, she would call me, 'darling,' 'sweetheart' or the very worst, 'Pippy--'"

Merry laughed out loud. "Pippy?!"

Pippin snorted in disgust. "But whenever I didn't do or say exactly what she wanted me to, she shot me the most terrifying looks. I swear, Merry, she could scare a Ringwraith. I could almost see the wheels turning in her little head as she thought about the best way to get back at me."

Despite his amusement, Merry felt for Pippin and for everyone at the Great Smials having to deal with the unpleasant Hobbit lass. Unfortunately, it was traditional in Hobbit society for the bride-to-be to live with the groom's family until the wedding. "How did you escape?"

"I told her I had to return to Crickhollow as soon as possible so you and I could plan a grand engagement party for both her and Stella." Pippin grinned wryly. "With lots of presents, of course. I didn't give her an exact date, but we had better start planning something or we'll feel the wrath of Diamond come down upon our handsome, curly heads."

Merry chuckled. "Let me get you some tea."

"How is Stella, by the way?" Merry thought he heard a little hint of jealousy in Pippin's voice.

"She accepted my proposal," Merry said, setting a cup and a plate of biscuits in front of Pippin as he sat back down. "She doesn't quite trust me, but can you blame her? I also had a terrible row with Sam."

Pippin winced. "I can't imagine what he and Rosie must have been thinking."

"He demanded to know what we were up to, but I didn't tell him the whole truth." Merry heaved a heavy sigh. "We continued to argue and I said some terrible things. He's been nothing but a perfect husband to Rosie and I went and brought up Frodo."

"You didn't." Pippin's obvious shock and disappointment wasn't unexpected. Sam and Frodo's unrequited love for each other was the one subject the Travellers knew never to bring up--that is, until Merry's unjust attack on Sam at the Master's party.

Merry lowered his head in shame. "I don't know how I'm ever going to make it up to him."

Pippin reached across the table to stroke Merry's hair, but he stopped himself and withdrew. There was a tense pause as they met each other's eyes. Pippin was the first to turn away. "I think I'll take a bath."

That night they both overindulged in spirits in order to dampen the physical and emotional ache they felt for each other. When they could drink no more, they stumbled into separate bedrooms. Their sleep was fitful and was interrupted by troubling dreams; they lost each other again and again: to an enemy's blade, to Orcs, Barrow-wights and willow trees, then finally to marriage.

The same destructive pattern went on for nearly a week; by that time they were both much worse for the excessive drink and lack of rest.

It was Pippin who finally suggested a drastic solution. "Merry, I think it might be better if you moved back into Brandy Hall, to be with Estella."

Merry was greatly pained by the exhaustion in Pippin's eyes, lining his fair face, but he wasn't prepared to give him up completely. "Pippin, I feel like you're sending me away forever."

Pippin's silence told Merry that was exactly what he was doing. "The temptation is just too great if we stay here together," Pippin reasoned after a long pause. "There's nothing for me in Tuckborough, but there's no reason why you can't be happy at Brandy Hall. I know you care for Stella. I like her, too. I always have. It'll be easier on me if I know you're happy."

Merry wiped a few stray tears on his sleeve and went to pack his things.

Three days before Merry and Pippin decided it was best for Merry to leave Crickhollow, Diamond of Long Cleeve arrived unexpectedly at Brandy Hall. She was dropped off rather unceremoniously by The Thain and his wife. It didn't take long for Estella to discover the reason why. Within an hour of her arrival, Diamond had caught the eye of every eligible Hobbit lad (as well as a several ineligible ones) in the Hall. Estella thought she saw just the slightest hint of distress behind Diamond's affectation that made her feel a little sorry for the young Hobbit lass.

Estella put a sisterly arm around Diamond's shoulder and led her away from recently-wed Calab Brandybuck. "Diamond," Estella said as gently as she could, "it's not polite to steal another lass's husband."

"I wasn't stealing him," Diamond countered, tossing her pretty head, "It was just an innocent flirtation."

"Begging your pardon, dearest, but there is nothing innocent about the way you flirt," Estella said with a grim smile. "Why don't we find something a little more constructive for you to do?"

Estella found Diamond to be an absolute disaster when it came to needlework or spinning. It was obvious her mother had expected Diamond to survive on her beauty alone. Estella patiently set Diamond about embroidering a simple pattern on a linen kerchief, while Estella spun Buckland's famously luxurious wool with a hand spindle and a distaff leaning against her shoulder.

"Have you seen the necklace dear Aunt Esmeralda is wearing?" Diamond asked after she had pricked her finger for the third time. So far there was more blood than embroidery on the kerchief.

"I didn't notice," Estella replied.

"How could you not? Those emeralds are enormous!"

"Diamond," Estella whispered, "you must keep your voice down."

Diamond looked momentarily cowed, but continued in a whisper, "Do you think she'll give it to you on your wedding day or will you have to wait until she dies?"

Estella sighed in exasperation. "You shouldn't be so concerned with material possessions, it's very unseemly."

Diamond seemed genuinely wounded by Estella's scolding. "I'm sorry, Stella. I just say what I know everyone else is thinking. I can't help it."

"Well, I wasn't thinking it."

Diamond smiled knowingly. "I know what you were thinking about--or should I say _who_ you were thinking about. I promise not to be so greedy if you stop being so meek."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Estella replied defensively.

Diamond gave up on the kerchief and tossed it on an empty chair. That very evening, Diamond's needle would end up in Saradoc Brandybuck's backside.

"If I were you," said Diamond. "I'd send a messenger to Crickhollow to fetch Merry this very instant. He should be here at your beck and call."

"Merry!" Estella jumped out of her chair as soon as she saw him and dropped her spindle on the floor. When she bent down to pick it, she poked herself in the cheek with her distaff. "Ouch!"

Merry took the spindle and distaff from her and put them on a table. "Stella, you've got to be more careful. You almost put your eye out."

Estella could feel herself flush with embarrassment, which worsened when Merry kissed her cheek to ease the pain. She managed to laugh uneasily at her own expense. "What brings you here?"

Merry gazed at her as if she had just asked the most obvious question in the world. "You, of course."

"Oh, how nice!" Estella replied in high-pitched, slightly mad voice.

"Hello, Merry," Diamond said as she pushed her way between them. Estella got the impression it was to rescue her from her terminal case of discomfiture. _She isn't such a bad sort after all_.

"Diamond," Merry said with a forced smile, "what are you doing here? I thought you were in Tuckborough."

"I was, but dear Aunt Eglantine suggested I come here, so I could be closer to my beloved."

Merry coughed to cover up a snicker.

"Stella has been such a dear to keep me company." Diamond put her arm through Estella's and hugged the older Hobbit lass. "You're very lucky to have her."

Though still red in the face, Estella gave Merry a wry smile and rolled her eyes. "Are you staying for dinner, Merry?" Estella asked hopefully.

"Actually, I'm here to stay permanently," he said, taking Estella's hand and leading her away from Diamond. "If that's all right with you."

Estella's eye was caught by Diamond gesturing at her wildly behind Merry's back. Diamond wanted her to be bold and daring; so Estella took a deep breath and started to say something witting and nonchalant, but it came out as, "Ah, um...of course, if that's all right with you."

Diamond threw up her hands and left the couple to themselves.

Merry's attentiveness to Estella during dinner wasn't at all feigned. He had always found her to be the most attractive lass in the Shire and he found his feelings for her resurfacing readily. He suddenly realized why he had been so reluctant to leave Pippin. If he let his feelings for Estella bloom, would Pippin mean less to him? Would he be betraying his heart by loving her? She deserved to be loved as much as Pippin did. It seemed so unfair to have to choose between them.

After dinner and a round of stories, Merry and Estella walked a ways from Brandy Hall so they could enjoy a little privacy. The almost-full moon was kind enough to provide them with plenty of romantic lighting.

Estella cried out happily as she took Merry's hand, stopping by the side of a familiar frog pond. "How long ago was it?"

Merry grinned. "Twenty years."

"I still can't believe you and Fred put a dozen frogs in my bed when we stayed over for your father's party."

Merry sat by the side of the pond and motioned for Estella to join him. "What you and Pippin did was worse."

Estella laughed. "He was so cross that you two left him out of it, it seemed only natural that we team up for our revenge."

"Did it have to be maggots?" Merry shuddered at the memory.

"The maggots were Pippin's idea and since I didn't have to actually touch them, I went along with it." Estella waded up to her ankles in the pond and leaned over. She picked up a lazy old bullfrog and handed it to Merry. "Here. You have my permission to put him in my bed tonight."

"It's no fun if you know about it in advance." Merry put the bullfrog on the ground and watched it hop back into the water. "Besides, I was hoping that I'd be invited into your bed tonight."

Estella let out a little gasp and started to hyperventilate. Merry held her close. "Breathe slowly, Stella. We don't have to if you're not ready."

"I-I'm ready, really." Estella kissed him awkwardly, but sweetly. Merry put his arms around her waist and lowered her to the ground.

Merry hadn't felt a lass's body against his for so long. Estella was so much smaller than Pippin and he was struck by the novelty of her softness and delicate curves. He had to remind himself to be careful with her, which was becoming increasingly difficult. As their kisses deepened, he felt her fingernails bite his skin through his clothes and her fingers pulling at his hair.

"Merry," she said breathlessly.

"Yes, Stell?" he moaned, as he kissed her neck and the swell of her bosom.

"I think there's an insect crawling up my leg."

Merry stopped in mid-kiss and grinned down on her devilishly. "Perhaps it's a maggot."

Estella let out a little scream and pushed Merry off of her. She scrambled to her feet and frantically shook her legs and brushed out her skirts, laughing.

Merry got up on his knees and put a hand on her waist. "Hold still. Let me check." He ran his hand slowly up her calf and thigh, lightly brushing the fabric of her knickers between her legs, and then down her other leg. Estella was shaking and had to brace her hands on his shoulders. After a torturous examination he pronounced her maggot-free.

She slapped his shoulder with a giggle and fell back into his arms. "You're awful."

"Now we're square." Merry kissed her on the tip of her nose, just as he done to Pippin a hundred times before. _Is this what it feels like, Sam, to have your heart torn in two_?

Estella noticed his darkening mood and put her soft hand on his cheek. "Are you all right, Merry?"

Merry nuzzled her neck and easily lifted her up in his arms. "Let's go inside."

Merry took Estella to his room, ignoring the curious glances of some of his relatives that were still awake, though the hour was very late. He undressed them both slowly, but he kept his breeches on. When Estella protested he said, "I don't want to cause you pain tonight. I want to please you."

Estella looked surprised and more than a little anxious. Merry winced inwardly. Estella had always tried to please him when they were courting, short of letting him bed her (Hobbit lasses were expected to guard their maidenhead at least until they had an engagement ring on their finger). He was ashamed to realize that he had never seriously considered her enjoyment before.

"But I like making you happy." Estella went for the ties on his breeches, but he stayed her hand and laid her back down on the bed.

"You've done nothing but make me happy over the years," he said. "Tonight it's your turn." The grateful tears that fell from Estella's eyes made Merry that much more determined to please her.

Merry explored her lovely body with his hands and mouth. He realized that it was Pippin who had made him into a considerate lover. Merry tried not to think of it, but he wished Pippin could be there, as well. Wicked and selfish, that's what he was.

After Merry had made her peak twice, Estella insisted that Merry make love to her.

Merry's ache for both her and Pippin made her offer impossible to refuse. He went as slowly and gently as he could, but there was no way he could not hurt her as he entered her. Still a maid, Estella was so small and fragile next to him, yet she was so determined to please him. She wrapped her legs around his waist and pushed him deeper inside her, all the while gripping his arms so hard she left bruises; tears of pain ran down her cheeks. When Merry realized that the sticky fluid running down her thigh was blood, he pulled away.

Estella started to cry in earnest. "I'm so sorry, Merry. It'll be better next time, I promise."

"Stop it, Stella." He said it more firmly than he had intended, but she did stop crying. "I didn't mean to hurt you, but I'm so much bigger than you are. I have something--some oil that will make it easier next time." He kissed her tenderly on the forehead and lips, then cleaned her up and covered the bloody spot on the bed with a blanket. He gathered her tiny, trembling body in his arms.

"I love you, Merry," she murmured against his chest.

"I love you too, Stella," Merry replied without thinking, then realized he meant it.

The news that Merry and Estella had spent the night in his room spread like wildfire throughout Brandy Hall by morning. Saradoc regarded his son with something resembling pride; Merry heard Diamond whisper in Estella's ear, "Now he _has_ to marry you. He wouldn't dare go back on his promise after last night."

Merry had no intention of going back on his promise. He truly did love Estella, but despite Merry's fears, his longing for Pippin was just as strong as it always had been.

"Stella, I have to go to Crickhollow," he told her, "but I promise to return tomorrow."

"Is there something wrong?" Merry feared he had let his turmoil show through his eyes, something Estella was bound to pick up on--just like Pippin.

Merry smiled. "No. Pippin and I need to do some more planning for the engagement party I told you about."

"Will there be presents?" Diamond asked.

"I'm certain there will be," said Merry.

"I was just checking," Diamond replied. "Be a dear and tell Pippin that I prefer diamonds, of course, but I also like sapphires and emeralds, though I'd love a mithril necklace. I don't like rubies because they clash with my hair; silver and semi-precious stones are out of the question. They give me a terrible rash."

"Diamond!" Estella said firmly.

"I was being greedy again. I'm sorry, Stella." Diamond looked up at Estella sadly. Being the kind soul that she was, Estella put a comforting arm around her. "Just tell Pippin that any little piece of expensive jewelry will do."

Merry and Estella laughed, then Estella saw Merry off.

When Estella returned from the stables, Diamond couldn't help but notice the anxiety on her new best friend's pretty face.

"He should never have left you," Diamond said. "Not after last night."

"I think that's exactly why he did leave," Estella replied, worried. "It didn't go as well as I had hoped."

Diamond's eyes narrowed. "What did Merry do wrong?"

"It wasn't him; he was perfect. It was me. I was just so nervous."

"Did he actually say it was your fault it was terrible?"

"It wasn't terrible," Estella said with a shy smile. "It just...hurt--a lot. It's all on account of that Entish water they drank in Fangorn."

Diamond giggled. "I always did wonder if it made _everything_ bigger."

Estella swallowed hard and nodded. "It did."

"Well, what does he expect then?" Diamond replied reasonably. "It's not your fault; he shouldn't have gotten so big. And I think you should tell him so."

"I suppose we could discuss it when he gets back." Estella started wringing her hands.

Diamond grabbed her friend and pulled her up out of her chair. "Well, I think we should pay them a surprise visit this very day."

When Merry returned to Crickhollow, he found Pippin rummaging through the pantry. "Hello, Pippin."

Pippin jumped at the unexpected intrusion. "What are you doing here, Merry?" Pippin asked somewhat irritably. He put some bread and cheese on a platter and took it into the parlor. "Didn't you and Stella--?"

Merry nodded as he sat down next to his cousin.

Pippin pushed the plate of food away without even touching it. "Then why come here and torture me with it?"

Merry took him by the shoulders and turned Pippin to face him. "I tried not to want everything, but it just makes me want it even more. Last night when I was with Stella, my thoughts would drift to you, but I wanted her as well. I even wished you were there...with us."

"Merry, you shouldn't say such things!" Pippin cried. "I'm almost mad as it is."

Merry stroked his hair and placed a consoling kiss on Pippin's cheek. Pippin caught Merry's hand and returned the kiss, but on Merry's lips. After a moment's pause, Pippin straddled Merry's legs and placed sensuous kisses on his neck and behind his ear.

"One more time won't make any difference," Merry breathed as he covered Pippin's mouth with his own.

Estella insisted that she and Diamond walk to Crickhollow, saying that it was a fine day for a walk. Diamond knew it was an effort to postpone their arrival, but she acquiesced. Diamond also complained the entire way there even though it was only a league from Brandy Hall. She looked abashed whenever Estella got cross with her. But Estella always apologized and took her hand like a good friend would. With all the rest stops they were forced to take, it was almost time for afternoon tea when the two lasses finally arrived.

Estella went to knock on the door, but Diamond stayed her hand. "It's a surprise, remember?"

Diamond turned the handle silently and the lasses crept into the parlor. Merry and Pippin were not there, but the girls heard odd noises coming from the bedroom. It almost sounded like someone was in pain.

Estella was breathing erratically, eyes wide with fear at what they would find. Diamond smiled encouragingly and took her hand. They crossed the short hall in a matter of seconds, but it felt like an hour. Diamond's hand started to shake as she twisted the bedroom door knob.

Later, Diamond couldn't remember actually opening the door, but she must have because there on the bed was Meriadoc Brandybuck rutting her future husband. She heard a small scream and a thud behind her and vaguely realized that Estella had just fainted.

_I should faint too. Why aren't I fainting?_ Instead, Diamond was mesmerized by Pippin's member and the current location of Merry's. "Imagine that, everything did get bigger." With that, she joined her friend on the floor.

To be continued....


	3. Caught

**Chapter Three: Caught**

After they had been discovered in bed together by their now-prostrate, Hobbit-brides-to-be, Merry and Pippin dressed quickly and tried not to think about the lingering consequences of their reckless behavior. Merry carried Estella to the sofa in the parlor, while Pippin revived Diamond and helped her to a chair at the kitchen table. "Would you like some tea, Diamond?"

Diamond held her head and glared at Pippin so evilly it made him flinch. "I don't think tea will quite do it."

"No, I suppose not." Pippin searched the pantry for a strong cordial. He poured her a small glass and a double portion for himself. As he sat down, Diamond grabbed his glass from him instead and emptied it.

She sat with her eyes closed, enjoying the first effects of the alcohol. She opened her eyes after several minutes and leaned across the table. Pippin recoiled slightly.

"Just so we're clear," she said, "you're not coming near me with that thing."

"What thing is that?" Pippin asked.

Diamond glanced down at his crotch. "_That_ thing."

Pippin looked down at himself then back at Diamond. "Oh, uh, all right."

"I never even knew lads could do it with each other," Diamond said almost conversationally, leaning back in her chair. "Merry was really going at you. Did it hurt?"

Pippin covered his eyes with his hand and shook his head. "I don't think we should be discussing this."

"You were doing it, not me." Diamond laughed. "All of a sudden you're shy about it?"

The absurdity of the situation suddenly struck Pippin; he started to snicker. "No, it didn't hurt."

"I never realized just how revolting lads look with their clothes off," she said, shuddering at the memory.

Pippin mumbled, "Sorry," then wondered why on Middle-earth he'd just apologized to her.

Diamond waved her hand charitably. "Well, you can't help it. A lass's body is so much more elegant and beautiful, don't you think?" Without waiting for an answer, she continued, "I wonder if lasses ever bed each other. It would certainly be a prettier sight than finding the two of you rutting each other like, like...no animal I've ever seen in my life." She stuck out her lower lip and started to pout. "And this was starting out to be such a good day. Estella and I were becoming such good friends. I never had a lass for a friend before."

"Not even in Long Cleeve?" Pippin asked, grateful to change the subject.

She shook her head. "All the girls hated me because I stole their beaus from them."

Pippin suppressed a laugh. "How inconsiderate of them."

Much to Pippin's surprise, Diamond actually picked up on his sarcasm. "Well, I can't help it if I'm stunning." She looked down at her empty glass, suddenly unsure of herself. "Why do you want him instead of me?"

Pippin regarded her with some astonishment. Diamond's unexpected and seemingly sincere insecurity made her almost...well, appealing. "It would take a week to explain, but Merry means everything to me."

"Poor Stella. He means everything to her too." Before Pippin could marvel at her spontaneously compassionate remark, Diamond's lower lip started to quiver. "It's not fair! Everyone loves Merry and no one loves me!"

"But Diamond," Pippin said, chuckling, "you don't love me either."

"I know, but that's entirely different." She looked up at him sheepishly and started to giggle, then held out her glass. "May I have another one of those drinks, please?"

Merry tried to adjust the pillows on the sofa to make Estella more comfortable, but she pushed him away. She managed to sit up; though it was obvious she was still feeling a bit woozy. "Tell me, Merry, was Pippin the reason why you called things off between us eight years ago?"

He nodded, unable to look her in the eye.

"Why didn't you tell me then?"

Merry shifted his position on the floor, and became unduly fascinated by a loose thread on the rug. "I didn't want to hurt you."

Estella snorted. "Oh, you hurt me; what made it worse was not knowing why."

"I just didn't know how to tell you--"

A look of realization came to Estella's eyes. "You thought I'd tell tales, that's why you didn't tell me the truth."

Merry shrugged guiltily. "That was part of it, I suppose."

A few tears ran down her cheeks. "You've known me all my life and you think that little of me."

Merry finally managed to look at her. He touched her cheek, but she rebuffed him. "I think the world of you. I really do love you."

Estella shook her head. "If that were true you would have told me the truth and you would not have proposed to me. I can think of a dozen Hobbit lasses who would be thrilled to be your wife and would happily overlook anything you and Pippin might do. Why did you propose?"

Merry let out a deep sigh and met her eyes. "My father discovered the nature of my relationship with Pippin and demanded we marry or he would have us driven out of the Shire. Even though we have powerful friends in the South we couldn't rely on them to protect us from Men who would likely use us or kill us if they discovered our bond."

"But why me?" The pain in Estella eyes was almost too much for him to bear.

Merry was tempted to take her hand, but stopped himself. "Because you've always been the only lass I've ever wanted to marry."

"And you always get what you want." Estella pulled the pearl ring off her finger and threw it at him. "Here's your damned ring!" Then she stood up unsteadily and pushed passed him towards the door.

"Stella, please don't leave," Merry called after her.

A few seconds later, Diamond hurried out of the kitchen, followed by Pippin.

Diamond ran out the door, calling after her friend. "Stella, please don't go! It's getting dark. Besides, I'm too tired and drunk to walk all the way to Brandy Hall."

"We're going to Bridgefields and we'll take a pony," Estella replied, her voice shaking. "I'm not staying here a moment longer!"

"How far is Bridgefields?"

"Twenty miles."

Diamond took Estella by the shoulders. "Instead of trudging all that way, why don't we stay here? We can plan their complete and utter destruction tonight and exact our revenge in the morning. Doesn't that sound like fun?"

Estella slumped to the grass and started to cry inconsolably. Diamond was momentarily at a loss, but then she rested Estella's pretty head in her lap and stroked her hair. Estella clung to Diamond's skirts desperately as her sobs shook her delicate frame.

Pippin stopped Merry from going outside. "There's no fixing this one, Merry."

"Why didn't we just leave, Pippin?"

Pippin shrugged helplessly. "I never thought I'd say this, but we're lucky Diamond is here."

While Merry cooked dinner, Pippin readied the guest bedroom for the two lasses. Over the years, the two Travellers had thrown many parties in the little cottage, but this could hardly be called a party. More like the quiet before the final battle. But Estella and Diamond held all the weapons; Merry and Pippin were quite literally at their mercy.

During dinner, Estella shot daggers at Merry all through the meal. Merry couldn't think of a thing to say that wouldn't make matters worse, so he looked down at his plate and picked at his food.

Diamond's appetite was unaffected by the tension. "Stella, dear, why don't you try the creamed mushrooms, they're delicious."

"I hate you, Merry," Estella said with venom.

"If it makes you feel any better," Merry said, clearly injured by her attack, "I'm not overly fond of myself at the moment."

"That's a first!" She snorted. "I really, _really_ hate you." Estella took a deep cleansing breath and smiled. "My, that was liberating. If I had known it would feel so good, I would have hated you years ago."

"Here's to hating Merry!" Diamond toasted, clinking glasses with Estella, then both lasses drained their drinks.

In an effort to take a little of the pressure off Merry, Pippin said good-naturedly: "Well, I'm feeling rather left out, doesn't anyone hate me?"

Estella shook her head. "You merely disgust me, Pippin."

Pippin turned to Diamond. She cocked her head to one side and considered the question. "No, I don't think I do." She held out her empty glass. "May I have another one of those drinks?"

Pippin reluctantly poured her another cordial.

"I was thinking," continued Diamond, "that you and I could still get married."

Pippin and Estella looked appalled. Merry just shook his head in amazement.

"Here me out," Diamond pleaded. "It would be the perfect solution for both of us. I could still be the Thain's wife and you could continue to satisfy your urges elsewhere."

Pippin looked more than dubious. "Even if I did agree to that, you'd still have to...I would need an heir."

"I've thought about that as well." Diamond smiled in a way that always made Pippin a little uneasy. "Since we've already agreed that you are not coming near me with that thing--"

Pippin rolled his eyes. "I wish you would stop calling it that."

"As I was saying, surely there's some handsome young Hobbit stable lad who could service me instead." Both Diamond and Estella burst out in a derisive cackle. All Merry and Pippin could do was sit there and endure it.

"I could do with a smoke," Estella said, stretching. "Join me, Diamond?"

Diamond turned to Pippin. "Two pipes and a bag of your best pipe-weed, if you please, Pippy."

Pippin dropped his fork on his plate with an annoyed clatter. "Of course, milady, anything for you."

Diamond grinned devilishly. "You see, Stella, I have him trained already."

Pippin turned on her, infuriated. "I've never hit a lass before, but--"

"Pippin!" Merry and Estella exclaimed in unison.

Diamond didn't seem the least bit bothered by Pippin's threat. In fact, she seemed rather delighted.

"Just give them whatever they want," Merry said wearily.

Estella leaned across the table until her face was just a few inches from Merry's. "How very generous of you, Master Meriadoc, the Grand Prize of Buckland, but I don't need any favors from you." Diamond took her by the arm and led her outside onto the porch.

Every harsh word from Estella was like a knife in Merry's heart, but he had forfeited the right to defend himself. At least Pippin was there. His presence was almost enough to make Merry believe he might live through the evening.

A short while later, the sound of coughing heralded Diamond's return indoors. She shoved the pipe into Pippin's hands and sat down in a chair to recover. "I thought smoking was supposed to be fun."

Pippin looked at the pipe in his hand, then at Merry. He gave Merry a smile full of love and support, then went outside to sit with Estella on the porch.

Diamond coughed her way into the kitchen and was irritated to discover that there was only a few drops left of the cordial she had been drinking all evening. Merry poured her a glass of wine instead. She said, "thank you," with an overly-dramatic wheeze and sat down at the table.

Merry sat across from her, hesitating before asking the question that had been weighing on his mind. "Diamond, do you really want to marry Pippin after what happened today?"

"I most certainly do." she replied. "He made me a promise and I intend to hold him to it."

"But do you love him, even a little?"

Diamond tilted her head to one side in thought. "I came very close to loving him during dinner when he threatened to hit me."

Merry shook his head. "You are the strangest lass I've ever met."

"You don't understand," Diamond told him. "All the lads in North Farthing are so mild. They would do anything I wished without a word of complaint. Pippin fights back, even though I know he would never dare lay a hand on me. I like him better than any Hobbit lad I've ever known."

"Pippin deserves a lass who loves him with all her heart!" Merry said with sudden anger. "He's far too good for you. You're nothing but a gold digger!"

Diamond stood up and shot Merry one of her infamous looks of displeasure, but Merry just returned it in kind. "Don't try to take the moral high-ground with me, Meriadoc Brandybuck! Pippin and I have been quite clear with each other about our relationship from the very start. He needs a wife and I need to marry well. It's all a lass has, you know, the ability to marry as well as she can. And you had the love of the dearest creature in Middle-earth and you threw it away. For some reason Stella still loves you, though you hardly deserve it!"

Because Merry's heart had been so wounded by all the vitriolic comments Estella had hurled at him tonight, the thought that she still had feelings for him never occurred to him. "She told you that?"

"Not in so many words. While we were sitting outside just now I asked her. She didn't respond so I have to assume that she does."

"How do you figure that?"

"Well, it's easy for a lass to say, 'No Diamond, I hate his stinking guts'; but it's quite a different matter for a fine lass like Stella to admit she's still in love with a scoundrel."

Merry was a bit alarmed when he found himself thinking that Diamond's explanation sounded entirely logical. "But Stella called off the engagement and threw the ring at me."

"And you got your feelings hurt," Diamond said in a mocking tone, "poor little Hobbit. Well, none of this would have happened if you hadn't left her this morning. How could you do that after hurting her so last night when she couldn't...accommodate you, if you take my meaning? She felt like there was something wrong with her, but it was really all your fault for becoming abnormally large. I convinced her to come here and tell you so."

Merry glared at Diamond fiercely. "I suspected I had you to thank for this disaster."

"You're quite welcome," she answered smugly. "I'm glad she called it off. She's far too good for you. You won't even fight to get her back." With a toss of her red curls, Diamond left the kitchen and slammed the door to the spare bedroom.

"Do you mind if I join you?" Pippin asked politely.

Stella glanced at him quickly then continued puffing on her pipe. "Suit yourself."

He settled himself next to her, filled his pipe and lit it. "I don't know what to say, Stella. An apology seems so inadequate."

Estella emptied her spent pipe. Pippin held out the bag of pipe-weed helpfully. She hesitated, but took it from him. "You don't owe me an apology, Pippin. We were never actually friends, were we? I'm beginning to understand why."

Pippin had to agree. "I was always so jealous of you," he admitted.

"I don't know why," she said. "Merry's always loved you best, though I was more envious of you than jealous. You got to go with him to fight the War of the Ring, while I stayed here to spin wool and keep house for Fred. I had no idea we were both trying to win Merry's heart, or that you were the victor."

"But now it's time for Merry and I to put that behind us."

Estella laughed mirthlessly. "Is that what the two of you were doing today? Putting it behind you?"

Pippin had no words to defend their actions, so he didn't try. "In spite of what you said at dinner, I know you still love him. I think you and Merry could be happy together. I wish you'd reconsider."

Estella paused and gazed at Pippin as if she was seeing him in a new light; then she shook her head. "And what if I find the two of you in bed together again? I couldn't bear it."

Pippin turned to Estella and put his hand on her arm. She took notice of it, but she didn't pull away. "Stella, if you decide to marry him, I swear by--by Lord Boromir's sword that I will never touch him again."

Pippin thought he saw her resolve weakening, then she turned away from him. "That's a lovely promise, Pippin, but why should I trust you? You still love and desire each other intensely. I can almost feel it when you're in a room together."

"I am capable of keeping an oath when it's important," Pippin said, strangely offended. He sighed and took a more gentle tone. "I'd like for us to be friends, Stella. Merry really does love you and so does Diamond. According to Merry, you've been a wonderful influence on her. We all need you."

Estella placed her pipe in Pippin's hand and pressed his fingers over it as if she was giving him a precious jewel. "You'll manage well enough, Pippin. I'm going to bed."

Estella hurried through the hallway, but her escape into the guest bedroom was thwarted when Merry darted out into the hall from the kitchen in front of her. "What do you want, Merry?"

"You," he replied, "since you asked."

Estella sighed and tried to push past him, but he refused to move.

"Diamond's become a very good friend to you, much to my amazement."

"Don't tell me she put you in your place and I missed it?" Estella asked with a satisfied grin.

"I'm afraid so," Merry said with a smile. "I don't want to lose you, Stell. Please give me a chance to fix this."

Estella folded her arms across her chest and looked up at him sternly. "I'm going to bed, Merry, then I'm leaving this place at first light tomorrow."

"And I'm sleeping in the hallway by the front door," Merry told her cheerfully, "so you can't leave without me knowing it."

One side of Estella's mouth curled in a wry smile. "I'll just use the back door then."

Merry slapped his thigh. "Thank you for reminding me to bolt the back door so you can't open it."

"I suppose I'll just crawl out of the window," she countered, trying not to giggle.

"And I'll put metal bars on all the windows," Merry said mischievously, "then you'll be my prisoner." They both started to snicker, then broke out into full-blown laughter.

"Don't be stupid, Merry," Estella said. "I wouldn't miss hearing what you have to say for all the pipe-weed in the Shire."

Merry noted the sarcasm in her voice, but he didn't let it dampen his determination. He moved aside and let Estella pass. "I'll see you in the morning. I love you."

Estella turned. "Merry, are you really going to sleep in the hallway?"

"Well, actually I was going to sleep in the parlor with my feet sticking out into the hallway; just in case Diamond decides to try to step on my head in the middle of the night."

"What about...Pippin?"

"He'll be sleeping in the bedroom," Merry assured her. "What happened today will never happen again, I swear it."

Estella smiled uncertainly and nodded. She opened her mouth to say something, but she changed her mind. "Good night, Merry."

To be continued....


	4. Saving Pippin

**Chapter Four: Saving Pippin**

Estella opened the door to the guest bedroom and found Diamond sitting up in bed waiting for her.

"I heard you and Merry out in the hall," she said.

Estella yawned. "You shouldn't eavesdrop, Diamond."

"Are you going to give him another chance, even though he doesn't deserve it?"

"I don't know." Still somewhat intoxicated, Estella struggled with the ties on the back of her bodice. Before she could finish saying, "Help me, Diamond," the young lass had jumped out of bed to undo the laces.

"Well, I think Merry's a fool for even looking at anyone but you," Diamond said as she helped Estella undress. "I've just gotten to know you and I love you more than anything."

Diamond slipped Estella's bodice off her shoulders slowly; Estella thought it was almost as if Diamond was savoring the act, but she dismissed the idea.

Estella turned to put her hand on Diamond's cheek and smiled. "I couldn't have survived this without you."

Estella wriggled out of her skirts, dressed now only in her shift, then climbed into bed. Diamond followed, lying on her stomach next to Estella with her head propped up on one hand. With the other she gently stroked Estella's curls.

"No one's ever needed me before," Diamond said, genuinely touched. She leaned over and placed a tentative kiss on Estella's lips. Diamond lingered long enough to make it clear it was more than a friendly peck.

Estella pulled away and sat up. "Diamond, you shouldn't do that."

"Why not?" Diamond asked. "Merry and Pippin were doing all kinds of things earlier. Why should they have all the fun?"

Estella rubbed her throbbing temples. "Because, it's wrong."

"Why is it wrong?" Diamond countered with the persistence of a toddler.

"Because," Estella replied lamely, "it just isn't done!"

"How do you know?" Diamond asked, regarding Estella triumphantly. "Everyone in the Shire could be doing it at this very moment, but we'll never know because Hobbits never talk about anything interesting. That's why I'm enjoying myself so much here."

Estella couldn't think of a convincing argument to contradict Diamond's perverse logic and just shook her head. Diamond took her silence as a sign of surrender and embraced her. She kissed Estella again as only a passionate tween could.

Perhaps it was because Estella was too tired and drunk to resist. Perhaps she had caught the same disorder that seemed to permeate the air of Crickhollow. Estella withdrew from Diamond and took the lass's beautiful face in her hands, placing a slow, deep kiss on Diamond's lips. Diamond responded with a long moan, allowing Estella to snake her tongue into Diamond's mouth. Diamond reached beneath Estella's shift and began to caress her between her legs.

Estella squealed with surprise.

"Did you like that?" Diamond asked almost timidly in an odd contrast to her bold actions.

"I suppose I did," Estella replied with a giddy laugh. "I should show you the wonderful thing Merry did for me last night."

"I can hardly wait," Diamond purred as she slipped Estella's shift off one shoulder and took her full breast in her hand.

Merry and Pippin were sitting at the kitchen table, commiserating over a late-night snack when they heard Estella cry out.

"Stella?" Merry started to rise, but Pippin pushed him back down in his chair.

"Don't worry, I expect she's being well taken care of." Pippin raised an eyebrow and gave Merry a meaningful look. "Diamond is _quite_ fond of Stella, if you take my meaning."

A sudden looked of horror crossed Merry's face. "You mean they're--?"

Pippin started to laugh. "Now don't start getting jealous, Merry."

"I don't want that shrew touching her!" Merry bolted out of his chair again, but Pippin barred his way.

"I'm too tired for another confrontation tonight. Besides, we're hardly in a position to complain about it." Pippin kissed Merry chastely on the lips. "Sleep well, cousin."

Estella was the first to wake the next morning, so she started preparing breakfast. Diamond wasn't in the mood for the cooking lesson Estella would undoubtedly give her if she went into the kitchen, so she decided to amuse herself by bothering Pippin instead.

Merry was still asleep in the parlor, but Diamond resisted the urge to kick his feet. Instead, she opened the bedroom door silently. Pippin was still fast asleep with the bedclothes tucked under his chin. With a wicked grin, she climbed on the bed and lay down next to him. She snuggled as close as she dared and draped her arm across his chest.

"Oh, Pippin," she said in a deep, throaty whisper in a passing imitation of Merry. "I missed you so last night."

Pippin smiled stupidly with his eyes still shut. "Don't be naughty, Merry."

Diamond brushed a few stray curls from his face and put her lips closer to his pointed ear. "Please, Pippin. Just one little kiss while the lasses aren't looking."

Pippin turned towards Diamond as his eyes fluttered open.

Diamond started to cackle. "Good Morning, Pippy!"

Pippin's face turned red with rage. "You little--!" He tried to throw back the bedclothes, but found himself tangled up in them. After a slightly comical escape, Pippin grabbed the red-headed Hobbit lass and pinned her down on the bed. "Don't ever do that again, Diamond; and for gods' sake, stop calling me Pippy! I swear you do these things expressly to aggravate me!"

Diamond looked up at Pippin with a coy smile and a hint of ardor in her hazel eyes. "Of course I do it to aggravate you. But you had better stop being so forceful, or I really will fall madly in love with you."

Pippin let her go and looked up at the ceiling. "Sweet Elbereth, help me."

Diamond laid back on his pillows in an attempt at a seductive pose. "You could at least give me a kiss. I can't believe you've never kissed me."

Pippin put on a robe over his nightshirt and shooed her off his bed. "Perhaps if you behave yourself I will kiss you."

Diamond put her finger to her chin and mulled it over. "Not really worth it, is it?" She giggled and ran out the door.

Merry was awakened by the commotion and staggered to the bedroom door, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. He just managed to move out of the way before Diamond barreled him over. "What was she doing in here?"

"Believe it or not," Pippin said, sighing, "she was pretending to be you."

"What?"

"I'll explain later." Pippin took a deep breath and smiled. "What's for breakfast?"

Merry went into the kitchen and found Diamond whispering in Estella's ear, but she stopped as soon as she saw him. Merry's dislike for Diamond grew exponentially when he noticed her arm around Estella's waist. "Diamond, could you excuse us?"

Estella turned around, then murmured something to Diamond. For once the incorrigible lass managed to leave the room without an impertinent remark.

Estella was cooking up a healthy batch of poached eggs, toast, sausages, rashers, and potatoes. She looked relaxed, almost happy, which reminded Merry of what he and Pippin had heard coming from the guest bedroom last night.

"Good morning, Merry," she said cheerfully.

"Morning, Stella." He motioned towards the sizzling pans. "Smells wonderful."

"Thank you," she beamed. "I've used the last of the mushrooms I'm afraid."

Merry mumbled, "That's all right," as he shifted from foot to foot. "I hate to bring this up, especially since you seem to be in such a good mood, but--"

Estella smiled encouragingly. "We should be well past being afraid to bring things up. Go on."

"What exactly were you and Diamond doing last night?" Merry tried to keep the resentment out of his voice, but failed. "Pippin and I heard noises that sounded a bit like--"

"We were bedding each other," Estella admitted matter-of-factly, then furrowed her brow. "Though I wonder if one would call it that since we lack certain--equipment. Oh well, we managed to improvise. Not exactly my cup of tea, but it was fun in the moment."

Merry was shocked at her cavalier attitude. "But why would you do that--with Diamond of all Hobbits?!"

Estella took the pans off the stove and started piling four plates with food. "She's a beautiful lass and she loves me, in her way. She offered me comfort and pleasure with no strings attached." She grinned. "I supposed it sort of makes us square."

"You did it to get even with me?"

"Well, I knew it would irritate you, knowing how you feel about Diamond." She looked up at Merry with love in her warm brown eyes. "Do you think you can forgive me? It'll never happen again, I promise."

Merry smiled happily and kissed her. "Of course, I can, Stell. Can you forgive me?"

She put her arms around his neck and allowed him to lift her in his arms. "I already have, Merry."

From the moment Merry put the pearl ring back on Estella's finger, there was an almost imperceptible shift in the atmosphere in the little cottage. The impetuous abandon of the night before seemed to dissipate, until all that was left were the sober countenances of four Hobbits who had come out of a strange dream.

At breakfast, it was Diamond who asked the question that was weighing on all their minds. "What happens now?"

"We're leaving for Tuckborough," Pippin told her decisively. "Just as soon as we finish breakfast."

Diamond stuck out her bottom lip. "But what about second breakfast?"

Merry grinned at the memory of Pippin's favorite query. His fond smile immediately turned to a dark frown. Pippin was really leaving for good.

"Pippin," Estella began, "you and Diamond don't have to leave in such a rush."

"Yes, we do, Stell," Pippin replied. "The longer we stay, the harder it'll be to say goodbye."

Pippin packed as much as he could load on the back of a pony and requested that Merry arrange to have the rest of his things sent to the Great Smials. At Brandy Hall they would borrow a cart to accommodate Diamond's voluminous belongings.

Estella tried to say goodbye to Diamond, but the lass pushed her away and ran to stand near the ponies with her back to the little cottage. Estella sensed it was Diamond's way of showing her emotions, so she let it pass.

"Pippin," said Estella, taking him aside. "Diamond is really a good girl, deep down, but you mustn't spoil her even if it might seem easier to do so in the short run. Be gentle but firm. That's what she needs."

Pippin grinned wryly. "As long as she steers clear of Hobbit stable lads."

Estella laughed. "She'll come around. She really does like you and besides, she's very uninhibited."

"I've noticed." Pippin's grin faded as tears welled in his eyes. "Take care of him for me, Stella."

Estella took his hand and squeezed it reassuringly. "I will, Pippin, don't worry."

Pippin put a gentle hand on her cheek, then he leaned down and kissed her forehead.

As Merry approached Pippin, Estella backed into the open doorway so they could have a moment to themselves. She watched them as they stood stiff and formal, grasping each other's arms, as they maintained a proper distance between them.

Estella felt tears running down her cheeks. "Embrace him, Merry, for pity's sake!"

Merry glanced at her gratefully and took Pippin in his arms.

Estella was drawn to the sight of Pippin resting his head on Merry's shoulder, his face wet with tears. His eyes were closed, but she could still clearly read the sad, but blissful expression on his face, being in the arms of his beloved one last time; but when the embrace ended, Pippin's fair brow furrowed with grief.

Estella turned away and wiped her eyes on her sleeve. She waved half-heartedly as Pippin and Diamond rode away. Merry wiped his own eyes then turned to Estella with a lost expression on his face.

"Are you all right, Merry?" She held out her hand to him.

He took her hand and let her lead him to the sofa. They held each other for a long while before Merry spoke.

"Do you think Diamond will ever come to love Pippin the way she should?"

Estella knew instinctively that Merry wanted reassurance, not the truth. "I'm sure she will. Pippin's very fair and lovable. Diamond won't be able to resist falling in love with him."

Merry smiled and stroked her cheek. "You tell the prettiest lies, Stella."

"Well, I meant what I said about Pippin. They'll be all right." Estella ran her fingers through his curls and whispered in his ear. "Merry, would you like to lie down for a while?"

"Are you tired?"

Estella blushed. "Not really."

Delighted by her suggestion, Merry nuzzled her neck and kissed her behind her ear, then carried her into the bedroom. Estella was more relaxed with Merry than she ever had been before, so it was a much more enjoyable experience for her this time. On the other hand, Merry's lovemaking seemed to have a new urgency to it, as if he was afraid of losing her too.

After a short nap, Merry got out of bed and dressed, then fished a loose book of parchment out of a well-worn satchel. "Stell, would you mind reading something for me?"

Estella's face lit up. "Oh, your book!"

"_Herblore__ of the Shire_, that's what I'm calling it." He hesitated briefly, then handed it to her. "It's not finished, but I'd like your opinion of it so far."

"I'd be happy to!" Merry watched her read with anticipation, but became anxious when she frowned. She put on her shift, got out of bed and went to the desk in the parlor. She took up a quill and turned to Merry. "You don't mind if I write on it do you?"

"Well...." Merry began nervously.

"It's not your final copy, is it?"

"No, but--"

Estella dipped the quill in a bottle of ink and scratched out a word, then wrote something in the margin. Merry hovered over her shoulder.

"It's just spelling, Merry," Estella told him. "You always were an atrocious speller."

"But what about that?" Merry said, pointing an indignant finger where she had just crossed out an entire line. "You've rewritten the whole sentence."

"I just rearranged it so it would make more sense," Estella replied.

Merry reread her corrections and grunted. It did make it make more sense.

She put down the quill and looked up at him. "Merry, I thought you wanted my opinion."

"I did," Merry said, grimacing.

Estella started to laugh. "No you didn't, you wanted me to tell you it was perfect just the way it was."

Merry smirked. "Well, it was perfect until you ruined it."

"No it wasn't," she retorted, "but it will be when I'm through with it."

Merry pulled up a chair and sat beside her. "A week ago, I think you would have told me what I wanted to hear. I know the last couple of days have been difficult for you, but I'm glad you're finally comfortable with me again."

Estella touched his cheek. "That's so sweet. Now, get me some tea, I have a lot of work to do."

"Not that much work!" Merry gave her an especially wet kiss, then left her to her task.

Estella enjoyed Merry's book very much and was doubly proud to be his future wife. He had a straightforward and engaging writing style; not quite on the level of Bilbo Baggins, but old Bilbo was a storyteller of the first order. One couldn't expect that sort of thing in a scholarly work.

Merry's treatise on pipe-weed brought up old images of Merry and Pippin enjoying a drink and a smoke at the _Green Dragon_, or anywhere else in the Shire where pipe-weed and ale were abundant.

Estella suddenly found her mood darkening when she recalled the grief on Pippin's face when he and Merry said goodbye, but she tried to banish it from her mind. Pippin could have found a lass who would have loved him, Estella thought reasonably, but he chose Diamond instead. Now they were the most mismatched couple in all of Middle-earth. Pippin was used to being loved in a way that few Hobbits are. And as fond as she was of Diamond, Estella knew the young lass's emotional capacity was limited to mild affection and playful teasing.

But that wasn't _her_ problem, she told herself.

Estella sighed and closed Merry's book, unable to concentrate further. _Of course it is_. Pippin and Diamond were her friends now. And Pippin would be a part of Merry for the rest of their lives.

"Merry," she called. "I'm going for a ride. I'll be back before tea."

Merry emerged from the kitchen with a worried expression. "My book's not that bad, it is?" But Estella had already gone.

Outside of Brandy Hall, a cart was being loaded with Diamond's enormous trunk and sundry belongings. Diamond didn't notice when a young hobbit lad crushed her second-favorite bonnet, because she was too busy gazing up at Pippin with something approaching sympathy.

"Diamond, you're making me nervous," Pippin said light-heartedly.

Diamond started to sniff and dabbed her eyes with her handkerchief. "I think I forgot my favorite petticoat. It might take me a few hours to find it."

Pippin knelt down and put his hands lightly on her hips. "You can't stall forever; we've got to go home."

"Just watch me, Pippin!" she wailed.

Pippin embraced her, letting her rest her head on his shoulder. "I've never seen you cry before, Diamond."

She withdrew slightly, but allowed him to keep his arms around her. "Don't you think I have any feelings?"

"Up until a few days ago..." Pippin started to say. "But now I know better. May I kiss you?"

Diamond snuffled and wiped her eyes. She tried to give him a flirtatious look that she immediately abandoned. "Yes, please."

Pippin slipped his hand on the back of her neck and pulled her gently to him. Diamond stiffened initially, but then leaned into him, and teased his mouth open with her little tongue. She withdrew looking pleased, though Pippin didn't know if she was pleased with him or herself. Pippin gazed up at her affectionately, attempting to see what lay behind her pretty hazel eyes.

"Now you're making me nervous," Diamond said coldly, pushing him away. "I'm going to look for my petticoat."

Pippin sighed in frustration and banged his hand against the side of the cart. Diamond wasn't even making an effort with him. At first he thought it was coyness, but now he was beginning to wonder if Diamond was the least bit attracted to him. All the way to Brandy Hall, she kept trying to tell him the details of her little tryst with Estella last night. It seemed that Pippin had found the only lass he'd ever heard of who preferred other lasses. Ironic, but hardly amusing.

Pippin sat down wearily on an old tree stump and pulled out his pipe. He heard a rider approach and turned. It was Estella. Pippin rose and helped her out of the saddle. "What brings you here?"

"I had a feeling you hadn't left yet," she said. "Where's Diamond?"

Pippin rolled his eyes. "Inside, looking for an imaginary petticoat. Is there something wrong?"

"No, everything's fine." Estella took his hand, leading him to a bench next to the stables. "I just had a scandalous thought. Would you like to hear it?"

Pippin grinned. "Of course; especially if it's scandalous."

Estella paused for moment as if she was gathering the courage for what she had to say. She squeezed Pippin's hand and met his eyes. "I think it's possible for one Hobbit to love two Hobbits if the two Hobbits in question agree to share the affections of the one. What do you think?"

"Don't torture me, Stella," Pippin breathed, unwilling to believe what he had just heard. "Don't say such things unless you really mean them."

Estella smiled at him so happily she looked as if she would burst. "Well? Tell me what you think."

Pippin felt tears of joy spring to his eyes as he enveloped the little Hobbit lass in a tight embrace. "I think you just saved my life."

To be continued...


	5. A Peculiar Fellowship

**Chapter Five: A Peculiar Fellowship**

**A/N: Many thanks to my wonderful beta-reader! Pippin's song was borrowed from _Fellowship of the Ring_.**

Merry was reading over Estella's corrections and he was forced to admit that she had been a great help to him already. He just wished he knew where she had gone. Perhaps she was picking mushrooms for dinner. He heard her ride up a little while later, but also heard the sound of a cart behind her.

It was Pippin and Diamond! Pippin seemed happier than Merry had seen him look in ages as he jumped out of the cart and rushed to Merry. Pippin turned to Estella who smiled and inclined her head. "Go on. It's all right."

Pippin took Merry in his arms and kissed him passionately. Merry pulled away and glanced at Estella, who didn't seem particularly bothered by it. "What's going on, Pippin? Stella?"

"Stella's the dearest Hobbit in the Shire, Merry!" Pippin exclaimed. "She's brought me back home so we can all be together!"

Estella blushed. "I just thought we could work something out so everyone could be happy."

Merry could tell by Estella's disappointed expression that he didn't look as pleased with her surprise as she had hoped he would. Though he was glad to have Pippin back, Merry couldn't help wondering if Estella's impulsive act of generosity wouldn't cause more problems than it would solve. Nevertheless, Merry was deeply touched by her gift. He scooped her up in his arms and showered her with kisses and words of love.

Merry prepared an elaborate meal for tea and found himself fleetingly drawn into the blissful illusion that Estella and Pippin had created. Later, Estella and Diamond went out into the garden, while Merry and Pippin sat the parlor.

Pippin regarded his cousin apprehensively. "Merry, you're not as happy about Stella's plan as I am, are you?"

"What plan is that, Pippin?" Merry said, finally allowing himself to vent his frustration. "Did she explain to you how this was supposed to work?"

"No," Pippin replied. "I don't think she thought it through."

"Of course, she didn't," Merry snapped more harshly than he had intended. "If she had, she wouldn't have done it. How am I supposed to please both of you without one of you getting hurt?"

Pippin's face filled with dread. He turned and looked out the window at the lasses chatting in the garden. "There is one solution," Pippin began carefully. "Something you said to me a few days ago about you wanting Stella and I to be with you--together."

"No Pippin!" Merry shook his head. "Stella would never agree to it."

"How do you know? Why don't you ask her?" Merry could hear the desperation in Pippin's tone.

Merry's voice cracked with emotion as he replied. "I've made my choice, Pippin. It's over."

Pippin turned away and blinked his eyes to hold back the tears. "Stella did this for us out of the goodness of her heart. The least we can do is let her enjoy it for a day. I'll make up some excuse in the morning, then go." He smiled sadly. "I should have known it was too good to be true."

Upset and angry that he was forced to push Pippin away once again, Merry left the parlor and went out into the back garden to be alone.

Pippin looked out the window again at the lasses sitting on the grass and lingered by the front door that was slightly ajar.

"He kissed you?" Pippin heard Estella ask excitedly. "Was it wonderful?"

Diamond shrugged. "It was all right. I'd rather be kissed by you."

Pippin felt a twinge of jealousy in his heart, or was it wounded pride?

Estella sighed. "Diamond, I wish you would at least try to love Pippin. He's very fair--"

"I suppose so," Diamond admitted with the hint of a smile. "He's also rich; soon he'll be richer."

"More importantly," said Estella with unmistakable firmness in her voice, "he's kind and gentle and brave. He also has a fine singing voice. You should be proud to have such a husband-to-be."

Diamond rose and faced Estella with her hands on her hips. Pippin moved away from the window to avoid being seen. "I wish you would stop nagging me about Pippin! I may love him someday or I may not. But I will not be pushed into feeling one way or the other, even by you!" Diamond stormed off beyond the large hedge that surrounded Crickhollow.

"You're a wicked, wicked girl, Diamond!" Estella called after her. She pushed open the front door and saw Pippin standing there. By his expression she knew he had heard their conversation. She winced and put a hand on his arm.

"Don't feel too badly for me, Stella," Pippin told her. "I picked her."

"I doubt you could have made a worse match if you tried." She smiled sadly and hugged him. "At least you have Merry and me."

Pippin put his arms around her and swallowed hard. "Thank the gods for that."

Though Merry and Pippin tried to act content, the tension between the four of them seeped in during dinner. Naturally, it was Diamond who brought the issue to a head.

"Have you worked out where we're all going to sleep?" Diamond asked Estella. Merry and Pippin looked down at their plates.

Estella's blank look indicated that she hadn't really thought about it at all. "Well, I-I suppose I could stay with you tonight, if you promise to behave...."

Diamond crossed her arms and stuck out her lower lip.

"Merry, you and Pippin could stay together..." Estella shrugged. "Then Pippin and I could switch off after that?"

Diamond slammed her wineglass down on the table. "Well, I don't appreciate being forced to sleep with Pippin every other night!"

"I promise to behave myself, Diamond," Pippin said irritably.

Merry held back a heated rejoinder to Diamond's insensitive remark, but Estella let her anger fly. "Frankly, I don't care what the three of you decide!" She pushed back her chair and stormed from the table. "I need some fresh air."

Estella paced on the front lawn, trying to recall the bliss of midday when she brought Pippin home to Merry. She didn't exactly regret her decision to allow their relationship to continue, she just never realized what a logistical nightmare it would turn out to be.

After she had calmed down, she had to admit it wasn't quite the perfect solution she had hoped it would be. A little part of her also feared that once things settled down, Pippin would again be first in Merry's heart with her as a distant second--just as it had always been. Well, it was her idea. She would just have to live with the consequences. Estella went back into the cottage to find Merry and Diamond arguing.

"I don't see why you get to have everything you want and I have to sleep with whoever is denied the honor of sharing your bed!" Diamond spat.

"If I had my way you wouldn't be sleeping here at all!" Merry roared.

"I don't know what you see in him, Stella," Diamond said, hoping to bring Estella over to her side, "but you're welcome in my bed anytime you like. Pippin, you can sleep in the parlor."

Pippin just rolled his eyes and sighed.

Merry exploded with rage. "You'll not touch Stella again, you--!"

"Merry! Diamond, stop it!" Estella shrieked. "Diamond, you go to bed--alone! Merry, Pippin, you go to bed too. _I'll_ sleep in the parlor. I'm rather looking forward to the peace and quiet!"

Diamond gazed at Estella apologetically and rushed into the guest bedroom.

"Stella," Pippin began quietly, "I can't tell you how much I appreciate what you tried to do here, but it's obvious it won't work. We were going to tell you in the morning, but I imagine you've already figured it out." With a poignant glance at Merry and Estella, Pippin disappeared into their bedroom.

Estella went into the kitchen and started clearing the dishes. Merry followed her and attempted to help her, but she waved him away. "I made the mess; I should clean it up." Estella knocked a teacup off the table with her elbow, which shattered as it hit the wooden floor. Defeated, she sunk down in a chair and started to cry. "How could I have done something so stupid, Merry?"

"It was just a teacup, Stell," he said gently.

"That's not what I meant!"

Merry knelt down at her furry feet and took her hands. "You meant well. Pippin knows that too, but I can't take care of both of you. If I was with you, I'd be thinking of Pippin; and if I was with Pippin, I'd be worrying about how I was neglecting you."

Estella blew her nose into her handkerchief. "I just wanted everyone to be happy."

Merry kissed her. "Come along to bed."

"But what about Pippin?" she asked.

Merry swore under his breath, already exhausted by the game of musical beds. He didn't want to force Pippin into Diamond's room or have him sleep in the parlor after all the bickering tonight, but he didn't know what else to do.

"It's all right, Merry," Estella said with a tired smile. "The blasted bed is big enough for the three of us. I feel much safer with Pippin in the room than I do with Diamond."

Merry stared at her in shock as he felt his groin beginning to stir, then quickly turned away. He told himself sternly that her suggestion was a totally innocent one, but he couldn't dampen his arousal at the thought. "You go ahead. I'll be along in a while."

Estella regarded him curiously, then went into the hall.

Pippin heard a knock on the door. "Come in." He had expected Merry, so he started when he saw Estella.

"Another bed assignment change, I'm afraid," she said light-heartedly. "I'm going to sleep in here with you and Merry, if that's all right. Merry said he'd be along in a bit."

Pippin raised his eyebrows in surprise, but quickly realized she meant to do just that--sleep. "Of course--unless you'd like for me to sleep in the parlor."

"Now don't start that, Pippin!" Estella laughed. "It's settled."

She asked him to turn around while she undressed to her shift, then climbed into bed. Then with a grin, Pippin asked her to do the same while he took off his robe and slipped under the covers.

There was just a brief moment of awkwardness before Pippin blew out the candles.

"Pippin, I'm so sorry I raised your hopes for nothing," Estella whispered.

"At least you gave me hope for a little while," Pippin replied. "I'll never forget your kindness, Stella."

Estella found his hand and squeezed it. Pippin scooted closer to her and put his arm around her as she rested her head on his shoulder. "Sing me a song to help me sleep, Pippin."

He smiled affectionately, remembering her earlier praise, and sang:

_O! Wanderers in the shadowed land_

_despair not! For though dark they stand,_

_all woods there be must end at last,_

_and see the open sun go past:_

_the setting sun, the rising sun,_

_the day's end, or the day begun._

_For east or west all woods must fail..._

Estella fell fast asleep; Pippin nodded off soon after, but woke a few hours later. It was still dark except for a sliver of light coming in from the half-open door. As his eyes adjusted to the light, Pippin saw Merry sitting in a chair at the end of the bed. Merry put a finger to his lips. Pippin motioned for Merry to come to bed, but Merry shook his head. Pippin carefully extricated himself from Estella so not to wake her.

Merry left the room silently for the parlor and Pippin followed.

"I'm sorry I woke you," Merry whispered.

Pippin put his hand on Merry's arm. "Why don't you come to bed?"

He shook his head again as tears rolled down his cheeks. "I could have watched the two of you sleep forever. It was the most beautiful sight I've ever seen. The most wonderful thing about it was that it was so innocent. You looked like two Hobbit children."

Pippin smiled. "Well, if you would come to bed like you ought, we'd look like three Hobbit children."

"I couldn't. It wouldn't be innocent anymore." Merry looked down at his feet, ashamed. "I've been hard all night thinking about it."

"Is that why you looked at me so oddly when I suggested we all sleep in the same bed?"

Merry and Pippin started at the sound of Estella's voice.

Estella rubbed her eyes and climbed onto the sofa. "It never even occurred to me. Another one of my ridiculous ideas gone awry." She giggled and blushed. "It would certainly solve our dilemma, Merry. You wouldn't have to worry about neglecting either one of us because we'd both be right there."

Pippin knew she meant it as a jest, but his breath caught in his throat.

"Pippin?" Estella said with concern.

Merry looked at him warningly. "Don't, Pippin."

Estella's eyes grew wide and her face went slightly pale. "That's what you both want, isn't it?"

"It's too much to ask, Stella," Pippin said, crestfallen.

"Of course it is," Merry added.

"It's a bit difficult to imagine," Estella said thoughtfully. "Would Pippin turn away while you and I made love and visa versa?"

Merry groaned and inched his hand closer to his groin. "That's not exactly how I imagined it."

Pippin flushed bright red. "Nor I."

"Then how did you imagine it?" Estella asked, not certain she wanted to know the answer.

Merry sat next to her and took her chin in his hand. "It would have to be a partnership between the three of us, do you understand? We'd all take care of each other."

A look of realization crossed her features. "Pippin and I would have to--"

"No!" Pippin interrupted. "I would never force you to do anything against your will."

"But there would be touching and kissing; and you would see us--and be seen..." Merry explained. "It really is too much to ask."

Estella was quiet for a moment, then heaved a weary sigh. "I'm worn out thinking about all this. Can we all just go to sleep, please?"

Merry did not object this time. He changed into his nightshirt, then crawled into bed next to Estella with Pippin on the other side of her. Pippin soon felt Estella's head on his shoulder again and grinned. Her presence had been such a comfort to him tonight; he would dearly miss her.

Pippin had almost drifted off to sleep when he felt a delicate hand stroking his cheek, followed by a sweet kiss on his lips. Pippin started to ask Estella what she was doing, but she silenced him with another kiss.

Was this just another form of comfort? Or, Pippin thought with sudden elation, was this a test to see whether or not she could bring herself to grant their fondest wish? He turned towards her and touched her curls timidly. She kissed him again, but this time she parted her lips, inviting Pippin to explore her mouth with his tongue. Estella put her arm around him, twisting the fabric of his nightshirt in her hand. Pippin placed his hand on the curve of her hip and pulled her closer.

Only then did Pippin notice that Merry was wide awake and watching them. With an ecstatic moan, Merry pressed himself against Estella's back, then reached his hand around and cupped her breast. Pippin could feel Merry gently moving his pelvis against her, then he felt himself growing hard against Estella's thigh. Pippin withdrew reluctantly.

"Is this what the two of you imagined?" Estella breathed.

"Sweet Elbereth, yes!" Pippin cried, resting his head on Estella's bosom. She embraced him and stroked his hair softly.

Merry enveloped them both in his arms. "How could I have imagined anything so glorious?"

The three Hobbits would have fallen asleep in each other's arm if Merry hadn't stirred. First he kissed Estella, then Pippin; both kisses were equally passionate, long, and wet. "I think it's high time we show Stella our appreciation, don't you, Pippin?"

"What did you have in mind, Merry?" Pippin inquired. Estella just laughed nervously and blushed.

With a mischievous grin, Merry threw back the bedclothes and started inching up Estella's shift. She turned away from Pippin, who averted his gaze.

Soon, Estella forgot all about her discomfiture when Merry dived between her legs and began pleasuring her with his tongue. She moaned with delight, running one hand through Merry's curls, while reaching for Pippin with the other.

Anxious to show his gratitude as well, Pippin covered her mouth with his and gently caressed her body through her shift, each touch tentative as if he was expecting her to push him away at any moment. Estella started moving her hips to Merry's ministrations, then guided Pippin's hand beneath her shift and to her breast. Pippin felt Estella's searching hand touch him between his legs. Pippin gasped and guided her small fingers around him. Moments later she peaked; Pippin cried out, thrusting hard against her hand and climaxed

Just as Merry rose to his knees with a triumphant expression, he was tackled by the two Hobbits he loved best. Pippin and Estella pulled off his nightshirt as Merry laughed with glee. Estella kissed him slowly and sensuously from his forehead down to his belly, while Pippin eagerly took care of Merry's need.

The peculiar Fellowship was soon slumbering in a loving heap and Pippin had the first sweet dream he'd had since the night of the Master's Birthday Ball.

**Six months later....**

"Are you completely certain about this, Stella?"

Estella Brandybuck put a reassuring hand on Mayor Gamgee's shoulder. "Sam, you've asked me that five times today and the answer is still 'yes'. Besides, it's too late now, the deed is done."

"It can be undone, just say the word," Sam told her. "Hobbit annulments may be rare, but they're not unheard of."

Estella waved away his concerned. "I couldn't be happier, really."

Sam had to admit that Estella did indeed look happy, standing underneath the bright wedding pavilion near Brandy Hall.

Rosie Gamgee shook her head. "I still don't understand how you could allow Merry and Pippin to carry on as they have been. What about you?"

"Don't worry, Rosie," Estella said with a satisfied smile, "I'm being very well taken care of." She put her arm through Sam's and led him to her new husband who was chatting with Pippin. "Now, Sam, it's time for you and Merry to be friends again. I don't know what's going on between the two of you, but I will not tolerate ill will on my wedding day."

Estella left Sam with his fellow Travellers and went in search of her friend, Diamond Took.

"Sam," Merry began awkwardly. "Thank you for officiating."

"It's my job," he replied stiffly, though it was not strictly true. Some Shirriffs had been granted the authority to marry couples, but it would have been scandalous if the Mayor of Michel Delving had not officiated at the marriage of the future Master of Buckland.

Merry put his hand on Sam's shoulder. "You could have begged off and I would have understood. I'm so sorry for what I said."

A reluctant smile that quickly turned into one of relief crossed Sam's face. "It's forgotten."

Merry shook his hand warmly. "I'm so glad, Sam."

"You take good care of Stella," Sam said in stern voice tinged with affection, "or you'll have me to answer to."

Merry opened his mouth to respond, but Pippin beat him to it.

"We will," Pippin told Sam enthusiastically. "Don't you worry, Sam."

Merry gave Pippin a withering look.

"I-I mean, Merry will," Pippin stammered. "Stella is his wife, after all."

Merry rolled his eyes. "Brilliant, Pip."

Sam stared at them both in shock. "You've corrupted her, haven't you?"

"I wouldn't say 'corrupted'," Merry replied.

Sam folded his arms across his chest. "What would you call it, then?"

Merry and Pippin looked at each other then back at Sam.

Estella returned a moment later, saving Merry and Pippin from an explanation. "Are you all friends again?" She slipped her arm through Merry's and leaned against him, while she interlaced her fingers with Pippin's. Suddenly, Sam felt like he was intruding.

"Everything's back to, uh, normal," Sam replied. "Congratulations Stella, Merry." Then with a befuddled grin he added, "Pippin."

Sam returned to his wife and children with a few curious glances over his shoulder. Diamond rushed up to the trio and almost bowled Pippin over. With a breathless greeting to the happy couple, Diamond grabbed her husband's hand and pulled him away.

"I've been thinking, Pippin," Diamond said when had she caught her breath.

"Oh dear," Pippin answered with a wry grin. "I'm afraid to ask about what."

Diamond ignored his sarcasm. "Stella and Merry, of course. I thought we could stay at Brandy Hall and let them have Crickhollow to themselves for a few days. It is their wedding night, after all."

"That's very considerate," he said sincerely, though suspicious that there was a catch. "Did you want me to sleep in the stables?"

Diamond giggled in a way that always made Pippin uneasy. "No, silly Hobbit! You may sleep with me." She said it as if she was granting a royal boon. "It has been a month since our wedding. I suppose we have to consummate our marriage sometime."

Pippin put a hand on his heart. "How romantic," he teased. "I'm positively overcome. Why the sudden change of heart?"

Diamond stopped and motioned for Pippin to kneel down so she could put her arms around his neck. He decided to risk Diamond's ire by putting his hands on her waist and pulling her to him. Diamond smiled and cuddled closer still. "I am rather curious about what _it's_ like. Stella seems so happy. Besides, she's always after me to be nicer to you."

Pippin didn't tell Diamond that he and Estella had never consummated their unusual relationship. Though Merry didn't object to the idea (quite the opposite, in fact!), Pippin and Estella both agreed that it wouldn't be right for the Master's heirs to look like the Thain. Still, Pippin was determined to treat Diamond to a belated wedding night she would never forget.

That would show her.

The End


End file.
